I am sitting in the assembly hall on Utøya, with no notion of what is about to hit me. Some messages tick in about the atrocity in Oslo, terribly sad. The news spreads to more and more of the delegates. A plenary meeting is called, so that everyone is informed about what has happened in Oslo, after which the rest of the day's programme is cancelled. A new info meeting is scheduled for 20:00. Some of us stay on in the hall to talk, others go out.
A little while later we hear loud bangs outside, some of us react immediately, others stay perfectly calm. I am sure it is just someone playing games. I go to the window but don't see anything. People are screaming. Some of those I am with think we should start running, others think we should get down on the floor, others say it is all a joke. Then, through the door opening, I catch sight of a man in dark clothes coming into the adjacent hall and carrying a weapon. I hear a shot ring out. Then we are all screaming and running in every direction. I manage to get out and on the outside I see three lifeless bodies on the ground, I feel my throat tighten and my stomach churn. What I'm thinking then? I don't know what to think.
I make a dash for the woods in a group of young, wonderful people. A girl asks me to take her telephone, she's too nervous to talk to the emergency services herself. I get through to the police, think that they are finally getting a picture of how serious an incident is developing on Utøya.
See a wounded boy with shot wounds to both legs, two girls try to apply compression to the wounds, wait there a moment or two before continuing on down to where a group has gathered. We try to talk calmly together, and seem to manage it surprisingly well.
We try to plan what we should do, and move west across the island. I take off any clothes in bright colours, try to make myself as inconspicuous as possible. I hide on a slope together with some others, there is high grass there and some bushes and trees. We feel "safe". Then we hear the shooting getting closer and closer. We jump up and run for our lives until we are sure the sound of shooting is more distant. Then we slacken our pace.
Come round a bend and there I see that there are bodies lying, I can't be sure how many, at least 10 young people. One image has burned itself into my mind, I guess she must have been 16 or 17, just lying there with a hole on the top of her head, absolutely the most horrific sight I have ever seen. I have to throw up, then take a moment or two to gather myself again.
I realize I have to run, yes run for my life, quite literally. Those I run with get more spread out. I'm now on the south west of the island and when I see a boy run down a slope to hide I'm terribly torn as to what the best option is. I decide to follow him down to a little hollow under a rock outcrop, and hide myself there as best I can. Don't know how long I was sitting there, it felt like many hours. I hear the shots being discharged closer and closer now, I don't know exactly but it feels as if the gunman is standing right over the spot where I am sitting. I say to myself that it's over, now my end has come.
I keep in sms contact with friends and family, send a message to my parents: Love you both! I was in no doubt it was the last time they would hear from me. I also had contact with a friendly P4 journalist, I told her what was happening and she kept me abreast of the developing situation as best she could with regard to the police. I would say she kept me alive through that horror, for which I am eternally grateful, Ingrid!
When she informs me that the gunman has been taken, I am in a position to dare come from my hiding place when I hear a voice shouting: "Hello, is anyone down there? This is the police." I went gingerly out, still shaking from nerves, look up, straight into the face of a policeman. He's got his weapon trained on me and shouts that I should put my arms up. I do so, hoping that this is the real police. And thankfully it is. There are now four of us hiding down there, and the police tell us to go down to the beach and wait for someone to pick us up.
And eventually a boat arrives to collect us, onboard is a fantastic man. I help the others onboard then climb onboard myself. We motor round the promontory to pick up 4 or 5 others, and when I see that one of them is a person I have travelled to Utøya with, I think it makes me as happy as I have ever been.
When we reach the mainland we walk up to the main road. I've never seen so many ambulances in one place, there are yellow ambulances everywhere. The wounded are carried up on stretchers, people are hugging each other and weeping. I'm completely empty, don't know what I should think. See others I know, feel glad, but others are missing, feel crushed again. We are transported by bus to Sundvolden Hotel, and there I see other people I have become friends with on this trip, but there are many who are still unaccounted for.
I'm relieved, I'm in shock, I'm happy, I'm sad, I hardly know what to think or feel?.
